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Category Archives: Blogging

Thoughts on blogging

Blogtastrophe

You’d think I would’ve learned by now. The blog section of my site recently crashed, and I’ve been in repair mode for the last 24 hours. My most recent backup, from 2010, hasn’t been working properly, so I was forced to use a backup from July of 2009. Now, I haven’t blogged much since 2009 so it’s not the most painful of losses, but it’s still a headache. Please be patient with me as I try to get the major posts from the last couple years back online and fix what needs to be fixed.

Cheers! And to my fellow Jews, Shanah Tovah!

A Viral Video Fairytale (or why I haven’t blogged in over a year)

To explain why I haven’t blogged in over a year, it is necessary to mention the video. And to do justice to the story of the video, I need to tell the story of how my adventures in book marketing began. And that means going back. I’ll try not to make this one of those “I got screwed by the man” stories, because that’s not what happened. I feel very lucky to have found a publisher for my book–and a good one at that–so there are no sour grapes on my end. The people involved in this adventure are all good smart folk with noble intentions, as most people in the book industry are. But they are struggling, as the whole industry is struggling, to understand how to generate awareness for their products when the media landscape they once knew has been turned upside down. In this environment, the old William Goldman axiom about Hollywood, “Nobody knows anything,” is certainly appropriate. I’ll save deeper analysis for others. My goal here is just to tell my story.

I’ll start in 2008. Or, no, it was 2007. Late August. That’s it. I was in New York to meet with the marketing team of my publisher William Morrow for the first time. My editor and agent had told me to come prepared. These days, authors are being asked to carry more and more of the marketing load for their own books. Arriving in New York with a telegenic smile and a head full of ideas could go a long way toward generating momentum and enthusiasm in the marketing department. So, I prepared. I walked into the meeting ready to impress, armed with ideas for catchy taglines and web marketing campaigns centered around strategically placed teaser ads. Perhaps I was naive to think that the book of a first time author in a notoriously risky genre was going to get much of a marketing budget, but so what? I was green and hopeful. I told them my ideas–most of them low cost ideas–all of which they listened to politely.

Then, it was their turn. It was pretty exciting for me to think that these people I’d never met before had been having meetings and making plans all because of something I wrote. I felt like a celebrity. And I was curious. What did these marketing professionals have planned for me? Well … they told me they were very excited. A novel like The Scandal Plan gives them much more to work with (particularly in an election year) than your average book does. And even though the budget for my book would be small, they were confident we could do a lot with what we had. Great!

Our conversation would cover many topics including the creation of a web presence, interacting with social media, and the one thing the team seemed to agree was their ace in the hole. It was a brilliant strategy that had the potential to create mass awareness for my book. In one word:

Plastics.

Wait. Wrong word. And, actually, it was two words. Are you ready for them? Here goes:

Viral video.

We were going to make one or more funny “viral videos” to spread awareness across the internet. Sounds very sexy, no? We make a brilliantly funny short video, put it on YouTube, and it gets gets passed around to 3 million people. Nice!

Now, tell me, gentle reader, do you see the flaw in this brilliant plan yet? I saw it right away. There are over 200 million videos on YouTube, few of which get seen by more than a handful of people. The problem with making a so called “viral video” is that millions of other people across the world are also trying to make “viral videos,” and everybody is competing for attention. Making a successful viral video is like capturing lightning in a bottle. Still, it was the new sexy wave of the future, so that’s why everyone in the book business was trying to do it. Every book that is published these days, now must have what they call a “book trailer.”

Never heard of a book trailer? You’re not alone. Here’s the big secret that nobody in the publishing industry wants to admit: nobody watches book trailers. Nobody, that is, except for other people in the publishing industry. Want to know why nobody watches book trailers? Because almost all of them suck. Don’t believe me? Google book trailers and see what comes up. Better yet, go to a book trailer site like this one and start watching. The problem is that even when a book trailer does not suck outright, it is rarely worth forwarding. Usually, this is because the trailer is either unremarkable, unfunny, or feels too much like advertising. “Old Spice” commercials aside, we generally don’t like to send videos to our friends if we feel those videos are trying to sell us something. We want our viral videos to feel as if they exist solely to entertain us; we don’t like ulterior motives. In conclusion, while it is not impossible to make a book trailer that goes viral, it is damn hard, and in order to do it, you need . . .

A brilliant idea.

CUT TO ME IN THE MARKETING MEETING

ME: So what’s the idea for this video?

MARKETING PERSON: Oh, you’re a filmmaker. I’m sure you’ll think of something great.

ME: (trying to sound upbeat) Okay. I can give it a shot. My only concern is that it sounds like your brilliant idea is that I need to come up with a brilliant idea.

(awkward laughter)

And dammit, I tried. Read More »

The Video Bill Would Want You To See

This is Bill’s wife. First off, I’d like to thank everyone for your support during this trying time.  I know that Bill would want me to post this video on his blog for all to see, so here it is:

How Would Jesus Celebrate?

Today I turn 33 years old. It has been brought to my attention that this is the age Jesus was when he died.  I have not yet decided whether I will let this fact depress me or fill me with gratitude — but I must say, I’m trying my best not to do the compare/contrast thing:

What have you done with your 33 years, Bill?  Healed the lame and the sick?  Started the world’s largest religion?  Why not?  Too “busy?”  Didn’t want to wake up that early?  Had some TV shows you just had to watch?

Yeah, that’s a game you don’t win.  And I’m told it’s bad form to compare yourself to Jesus, even for the sake of self-deprecating musing, so I’ll stop that line of thought right here.  Anyhow, I shouldn’t be too hard on myself.  I actually have a lot to be thankful for on this birthday. Between getting married and publishing my first novel, this has probably been the most eventful year of my life.  I will be hard-pressed to match this level of excitement and good fortune in my 34th year.

But then, I like to give myself lofty goals …

In the meantime, we have the day to day.  I’m still making ends meet by teaching at a wealthy private school on the west side of Los Angeles. I’ve been filling vacancies, hopping from one maternity leave to another, in an effort to avoid the complications of full-time employment such as report cards, take-home grading, and time-sucking extracurricular faculty pow-wows.  Does this allow me enough time to write?  There’s never enough time.  That said, it’s better than many other day jobs I’ve had and infinitely more fulfilling.

Up until recently, I’ve been spending my time in the kindergarten, which has been good for the soul if bad for the immune system (I was sick for the first month-and-a-half of 2009).  Now I am in the 6th grade, where I will stay for the remainder of the school year.  It’s a whole new, challenging, grade-conscious, puberty-ridden world, and I’m sure I’ll have more to say about it in future posts.

Speaking of future posts, I do plan on writing some.  I’m working on another book review, and I have a lot more things I plan on sharing once I get the time to do so.  Apologies for the continued blog neglect.  These next couple months should be busy ones.  I’m hoping to have this new screenplay squared away soon, which will mean starting my film agent search sometime in the next couple months.  Then, on June 2nd, the paperback version of The Scandal Plan will hit bookshelves near you.  More on these stories as they evolve.

For now, I’m 33.  Given the alternative, I’ll take it.  Jesus didn’t make it to 34.  God willing, I will. Thanks to all those who’ve sent me birthday wishes this week.  I feel the love.  It’s warm, and I dig it, and I dig all of you.

Much love,
b

Aaaaaaaaand we’re back

The blog is back to its old and beautiful self, and I’m too busy to write on it.  I’ve been working full weeks doing the teaching thing, trying to write at night, and nursing a cold, so blogging has not been foremost on my mind.  Here are a few things that have been:

– My new screenplay.  This holiday season, I finally had a draft that I was ready to show others.  I’ve already given it to two of my usual readers, one of those being my wife.  I’m not too far from the finish line with this one, and that’s exciting.  It’s a romantic comedy, not at all political, and perhaps that’s for the best, given the current climate.  More on this, to be sure …

– Israel.  I don’t have time to do justice to this subject now, but the recent conflict has certainly been foremost in my thoughts.  Specifically, I continue to be outraged at the double standard the international community applies to Israel’s self-defense. If a European country were under rocket attack from one of its neighbors, nobody would be talking about “proportional” responses.  On the other hand, I continue to be frustrated by Israel’s inability to properly anticipate and shape world opinion.  5.5 million Jews and not a single PR genius?  Why didn’t the world know about these rocket attacks before Israel’s counter-attack?  Why wasn’t Israel screaming bloody murder in the UN and the international media?  The terrorists know how to work the press.  Why not Israel?

– MLK.  If Martin Luther King Jr. were alive today, I have no doubt that he’d want us all to go to work on Monday and skip work Tuesday to watch the inauguration.  Sigh.  The idea of a Tivo-ed inauguration just doesn’t seem as romantic.

– Football.  Is there a more exciting offensive player right now than Larry Fitzgerald?  Is there a more exciting defensive player than Troy Polamalu?  Very much enjoying the playoffs, even though I no longer care who wins at this point.  I’m also looking forward to the end of NFL madness so I’ll be able to be more productive with my Sundays.

– Weather.  Has been wonderful.  Highs in the low 80s in LA all weekend.  This makes me happy.

– Lyrics.  I recently bought Seal’s album “System,” and I really want to like it.  I love his first three albums and much of his fourth, but I’m having trouble with this one.  Part of it is the electronic clubby danciness of it, but a big stumbling block is the lyrics.  Example: “What have we done? One of us came undone. Which one?”  Urg.  And what about the radio track: “I want you to always feel amazing”  Really, Seal?  The word “amazing” is about as lyrically imaginative as the word “great” or “nice.”  Lyrics like these feel phoned in.  And while we’re on the subject of lyrics, I am irked every time I hear that Killers song that asks: “Are we human, or are we dancer?”  What? Is that supposed to be playful like Beck or deep like Radiohead or just specifically designed to annoy me like Howie Mandell?  Perhaps this lyric wouldn’t bother me so much if only I could get it out of my head.

Slumdog Millionaire.  Finally saw it.  Loved it.  Danny Boyle rocks me.  Great script too. Simon Beaufoy plays two of the most classic story archetypes to perfection: the rags to riches story and the love conquers all story. Add in an electrifying score, the rich canvas of India, and stellar performances, and you have a prescription for a worldwide phenomenon, the sort of movie everyone will tell their friends to go see.  Go see it.