For those of you looking to stand on a street corner and handsell your book, I must recommend Hollywood Blvd. in Los Angeles, a couple blocks east of Highland Ave. While I’m not promising you a stunning success rate, I do believe you’ll have some fun, at least so long as you have a sense of humor.  And even if you don’t enjoy yourself, you certainly will have some stories to tell.

This past weekend, I spent time pounding the Hollywood pavement, dressed in my presidential best, handing out fliers to promote my book.  Perhaps the fact that I had a camera crew filming my every move lent me an air of credibility; perhaps it was the suit; probably it was both.  One highlight was when I found myself pitching the book to a girl who was trying to pitch me. She was handing out cards for Psychiatry: An Industry of Death.  This is a museum in Hollywood founded by Scientologists that, needless to say, has a rather negative impression of the psychiatry profession.  When we mentioned to this girl that our documentary was ultimately going to be on YouTube, she mentioned that she was planning on eating a cockroach on YouTube.  Only in LA …

The paperback release is coming at a crazy time for me.  The school year is ending and I’m busy preparing for some courses I’ll be teaching this summer.  I’ve also reached a finishing point with my new screenplay (tentatively titled: If You Love Somebody).  I’m very excited about the script, and I think it’s finally ready for the world.  Over the next few weeks, I plan to start soliciting representation out here in LA (if you have any leads, drop me a line).  It’s time to get this screenwriting career rolling.  And I’m hoping to do it all at once for maximum effect.  I definitely want my script going out to agents while my book is still in stores (whichever stores those may be).

I’ll try to blog as these events unfold.  More to come …

The paperback will be coming out on June 2, 2009.  You can pre-order now on Amazon or Barnes & Noble.

* It comes fully charged
* Costs less than a bottle of champagne (the real stuff)
* You can buy at least 10 hardcover books for the price of one iPhone
* Costs less than a movie (with popcorn)
* Around the same price as a DVD, but the experience lasts much longer
* It can change someone’s life
* It can make someone laugh
* Batteries are not required
* It’s a thoughtful gift
* A personal gift
* One-stop shopping-your bookstore has the right gift for everyone on your list
* It weighs much less than a fruitcake
* It’s more original than a tie or a sweater
* It’s a gift of escape, fun, romance, adventure
* It’s easy to find
* It’s easy to wrap
* And you can never have too many

(one slight disclaimer to any of my relatives who might be reading this: I will be in hot water with my wife if I try to bring any more books into our over-crowded apartment, so perhaps this isn’t the best gift for me this year. For other people, however, it’s a perfect gift. I certainly plan on giving a few book gifts myself this year.)

I’ve included the text here:

I’ve been waiting for a good sex scandal all summer long. No, I’m not a voyeur or a pervert or a committed schadenfreudist—at least not any more than is socially acceptable—but I am a political satirist with a novel to sell, and as such, the financial and humanitarian sectors of my brain are frequently in conflict.

The Scandal Plan, or: How to Win the Presidency by Cheating On Your Wife, is—not surprisingly—about a sex scandal. A fake one. It’s the story of Senator Ben Phillips, a straight-laced, over-qualified, under-exciting Democratic presidential candidate in the tradition of Al Gore and John Kerry. He’s got great ideas, but you wouldn’t want to have a beer with him—and that’s why he’s getting killed in the polls. His campaign’s brilliant solution is to invent a sex scandal. Not a big one. Just a long-ago indiscretion that can be discovered: something the senator will have learned from, something he can bounce back from, something that can humanize him, something that might make him the tiniest bit cooler. Needless to say, nothing goes as planned.

To write a political satire is to be constantly looking over your shoulder. Is my story still relevant? What if Candidate X wins? What about Candidate Y? How does today’s news affect my story? Jon Stewart has it easy. He takes yesterday’s headlines and skewers them on tonight’s show. Guaranteed freshness. With my book, it took four and a half years for the original idea to travel from conception to publication – the satirical equivalent of firing a bullet into a time machine and crossing your fingers. I don’t recommend it.

The slow motion birth of this novel has often filled me with conflicting emotions, most notably in the wake of the 2004 election. I was crushed (crushed!) by John Kerry’s loss. But not completely. While I was convinced that another four years of George W. Bush would be devastating for the country (and the world), while this depressed me like nobody’s business, I couldn’t ignore that tiny guilty voice in my head that whispered: “This is really good for your book! This is confirmation of every argument you make! This means you have a real chance of being published!”

Such is the satirist’s dilemma: what’s good for business is usually bad for humanity.

Throughout this process, I’ve found comfort by telling myself that the underlying themes of my novel (our need to relate to our elected officials, our craving for redemption narratives, our preference for style over substance, the compromises we make in the name of ambition) are all fairly timeless. I also remind myself that this book is a fast-paced comic adventure first, and a satire second. The characters—a pubescent political reporter working for a teenybopper magazine, the campaign manager who has regular conversations with God, the over-sexed middle-aged bombshell who can’t find Mr. Right, the presidential candidate still hung up on high school, and the linguistically challenged Mexican chauffeur who thinks he’s James Bond—their appeal is not affected by the whims of the current news cycle.

Still, my eyes are glued to CNN. And when Hillary’s tears remind voters how important it is for a candidate to be perceived as “human,” or when John McCain is suspiciously linked to a female lobbyist on the front page of the New York Times, I view these events through the lens of my book.

That’s why I’ve been waiting for a sex scandal, and now I’ve finally got one. I was sad that it had to be John Edwards at the center of this particular spectacle because I had always liked him and his wife. But a sex scandal was a sex scandal, and attention had to be paid.

Was the Edwards situation a precise echo of the premise of my book? No. There were eerie parallels, to be sure, but differences as well. Never mind that; sometimes you must go to press with the scandal you have, not the scandal you want. That’s why, as soon as the John Edwards story hit the news, I e-mailed my publicist: “What can we do with this? Can this help us?” I frantically wrote an article for the Huffington Post relating the scandal to my book and offering pointers for future politicians on how to make the most of their own sex scandals.

Do I feel bad about trying to use the Edwards family’s embarrassment to try to shine a light on my book? Yes. Would I have done anything differently? No. Because even with a major publisher and great reviews, a political satire by a first-time novelist like myself does not have the luxury of an advertising budget. Such books are considered—surprise, surprise—too big a risk. That’s why I must take every opportunity I can get.

It remains to be seen whether the escapades of John Edwards will actually influence my book sales or whether any pundits or bloggers will pick up on the parallels and decide to give the subject their attention. Either way, I will remain absorbed by political news for the remainder of the 2008 election and beyond. Because I care passionately about the state of our country and our world. Because, above all else, I want what is best for humanity. And because the paperback version of The Scandal Plan comes out next June, and I want a bigger apartment.

It’s been real cool discovering some of the independent bookstores I’ve never visited before. Each one of them is so unique, and their booksellers are so passionate about what they do. At all the stores, chatting with the employees is definitely the highlight for me. People who sell books tend to be interesting people — whether they work at Booksoup in Hollywood or at Barnes & Noble in Santa Monica.

In other news, after disappointing us by leaving the book off their Father’s Day table, I’m pleased to announce that Barnes & Noble has come through on their summer reading table promises! I’ve been to a bunch of B&Ns and have also heard independent confirmation from friends that THE SCANDAL PLAN is indeed on the summer reading table when you first enter the store. Very exciting.

If only the book were as easy to find elsewhere . . . My biggest frustration continues to be Amazon.com, where just about the only way to stumble across the book is to do a search for it. This presents a challenge because, in my limited experience, people will only buy a book if they know it exists. So, how do we get those people browsing through Amazon.com to know that THE SCANDAL PLAN exists? Well, I’m glad I asked me. Here’s what I’ve come up with:

Strategy #1: Become a bestseller.

I have to say, all things considered, Strategy #1 is not a bad strategy. The more I think about it, though, I believe I might need a backup plan. You know, just in case. How about this:

Strategy #2: Harassing friends for Amazon Tags, Search Tags, and Reviews.

Yes, I need help for this strategy, so I’ll speak to you directly, whoever happens to be reading my blog now. If you’ve ever purchased anything on Amazon, then you can write reviews and tag items with words and phrases to make it easier to find said item. If you’ve read my book and liked it, I’d ask that you please take a few minutes to write a quick review online and tag my book.

How do I tag a book? Click here to learn how to tag a book with regular tags and here to learn how to tag with the more important search tags. As for reviews, I’ve had a couple friends who wrote some good Amazon reviews (and a bunch of strangers), but I need more.

If you are one of my friends or you’re on my mailing list, you probably received an e-mail from me requesting just this kind of assistance with reviews and tags. Now, my friends are wonderful people and they’ve been super supportive, buying my book and flooding me with e-mails telling me how much they’ve enjoyed it, but, as far as Amazon reviews are concerned, I think everyone is just assuming that everyone else is doing it — because my recent spamming of several hundred people has resulted in . . . that’s right . . . zero new reviews to date. So at the risk of sounding like a broken record, I’d ask those who are reading this to please step up and make your voice heard!

Beyond the world of Amazon, there are many other ways for fans of THE SCANDAL PLAN to help spread the word, and I’ve put together a list of all these strategies on a new page of my website called: Campaign for My Book!

Subtle, I know. Anyhow, check it out if you get a chance, and if you can think of any strategies I’ve overlooked, please leave me a comment and let me know. I feel bad that I keep bugging you all for your help, as you are the ones to whom I owe the most already, but the simple truth is that in order for Book #2 to see the light of day, Book #1 needs to be a success. And, as always, I can’t do it without you.

Okay. Enough of my yapping. I promise to keep the self-promotional pleas to a minimum from here on out. Now it’s time to get back to the real work.

My east coast tour ended with a bang last week at the Borders Books in Fairfield, Connecticut. At more than 40 people, it was my biggest crowd yet, and my most family–packed event to date. In addition to my sister and my parents, my future in-laws drove up from New Jersey for the show. Also in attendance was the rabbi who Bar Mitzvahed me (and who will marry me in a couple months). I tell you, if you want pressure, try to think up something pithy to inscribe in your rabbi’s book when you’ve only got a couple seconds. Oy.

I usually find I can rise to the occasion when asked by someone close to me for a witty on-the-spot inscription, but every now and then, I disappoint myself, usually by writing something too cheeky that I instantly regret for one reason or another. There have been a couple of those. Perhaps most challenging are those friends who approach me and ask for a totally unique creation. “Write me something you haven’t written to anyone before.” The proper response to such a request is usually an inscription like this:

“To Joe – I’ve been sleeping with your girlfriend, Molly. I hope this knowledge does not in any way diminish your enjoyment of my book. Happy reading! – Bill”

In all seriousness, though, for you authors out there, this strategy only works if Joe’s girlfriend is named Molly.

So … Fairfield was a good time. Following this reading, I had a crazy day in New York, schlepping books all around Manhattan, dropping off reading copies and introducing myself to employees in bookstores from the Village to the Upper East side (three cheers for pounding the pavement!). Then C flew in and we were reunited for a weekend of bridal shower fun and wedding-planning-ness. Then, after the requisite 2+ hours on the tarmac of Newark airport and a quick cross country flight, here we are.

I am now back in LA, trying to catch up on my life (and my blogging), but I will end this series of posts by once again thanking everyone who came out to see me on my first little book tour. Your support meant a lot. Happy Wednesday and God bless.

Monday night, I was “local boy made good” at the Easton Public Library, the most happening place in my quiet hometown. Bernadette, the head librarian, did a great job of spreading the word about my appearance and alerting the local media (I was on WICC radio on Friday and the front page of the Easton Courier on Thursday). For a book reading in a small town, we had a nice turnout, which included a friend I hadn’t seen since high school and a couple of my more magnificent middle school teachers. In attendance were the English teacher who encouraged my creative writing and the History teacher who encouraged my fascination with politics. It was nice to have them there.

I am starting to feel a bit like a politician running for office. I now have a stump speech that I can access effortlessly at these readings. I have the 20 second spiel, the 20 sentence spiel, the 20 minute spiel, and every length spiel in between. I have a pocket full of self-deprecating and self-promotional one-liners at my disposal to use when signing, spieling, shaking, or charming. I’ve been going into bookstores, introducing myself, and leaving behind cards and reading copies.

I am raising awareness, spreading the word, and tiring myself out as I unabashedly campaign for this book. After writing a novel about a political campaign, I find it amusing and slightly ironic to be in this position. It’s fun. It’s exhausting. And, it’s what I have to do.

This is me with my agent Jill Kneerim and Gina Cerrito, Community Relations Manager at Barnes & Noble:

And this is me with some of the wonderful folks from my agency who came out to show their love that night (from left to right: Julie Sayre, Hope Denekamp, me, Cara Krenn, and Jill):

This reading was great fun, and the turnout was wonderful: probably 30-40 people. Afterwards, I hit the Pour House with some friends for burgers and drinks. Thanks again to all who came.

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